My Heart - Exposed

I've been meaning to write this for some time. I believe that Jesus Christ is God's only Son, our Lord. And I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Thing is, I can't seem to find Him. I hear the voice of the Son, and the Spirit, and even the Father - but I'm not 100% sure it's really them! I wonder if it's just my imagination. I wonder if I've been duped. Lead astray, never to come back. I've experienced some horrendous evil voices as well - surely of the devil - challenging my faith and trying to get me to confess untruths about myself, my salvation, and my God. I love Him (God) and I want everything that is good from His Hands! But I'm continually tempted to believe that He's not good - that He's out to get me and damn me to hell, or even continually tempted to damn myself to hell (if it were possible). I love my God. He's wonderful, He's full of grace and mercy and truth. I see His grace in my life every single day - and His mercies are new every morning. But the enemy keeps encroaching on my relationship with God - the Trinity - and inserting his messages into what sounds like their voice(s) - so I'm constantly on guard and constantly casting devils out of my life and my home and my presence. What do I do? How do I call myself an ordained minister of the gospel when I struggle so much with the mere basics of the faith? But maybe that's part of why I *am* qualified. Tom Stamman, the President of Impact Ministries International, who ordained me, told me to remember that I am qualified - that God even supernaturally showed up during my ordination ceremony and verified my qualifications. You can see it on my Facebook page - here - Maybe, just maybe, my experiences in the darkness, along with what God has spoken to me in the light, is enough to qualify me to help others through their dark nights of the soul and back into the light where Christ can shine.